The Gifts of the Deceptively Shallow Friendship

Yesterday was the day I focused on a relationship closely tied to my failed relationship of yesterday. This friend and I have a difficult relationship. She is shallow enough that she will often try to speak to parts of my life that she really can't understand because to her the issue is black and white. She is deep enough that very often she will say things that I really have to stop and consider. The relationship is not a simple one...for me at least.

In recent months it has become very clear that the relationship between her and I is something that is going to have to change. I am just not sure how yet. Sometimes I am ready to kick her to the curb and other times, she comes back as the not so shallow self and in those times talking to her is actually really nice. It is a balance I am not sure I understand quite yet.

All that aside, though, I have received many gifts from her.

~ From her I have learned that I don't have to be perfect to be loved. It is not okay to say, ask myself to change fundamentally just to keep someone else happy.

~From her I learned that humor can wipe out stress. A laugh or a giggle can change a mood from negative to positive in a moment.

~From her I learned that not all friendships have to be deep to be enjoyable. You don't have to like the same things, you don't have to want the same outcomes to have a very nice friendship. Sometimes just having someone to talk stupid stuff with is nice.

~From her I learned that all it takes to have an engaging conversation is to stop trying to impress and just enjoy. It isn't always necessary to be "smart" or "cool."

~From her I learned that appearing "cool" is not the same thing as being "cool." Being "cool" can only happen when I am comfortable with who I am. I can't truly be cool when I care what the world thinks.

~From her I learned that following a passion even in the face of adversity is worth it in the end.

~From her I learned that what you say is important. Being careless with my words is unacceptable.

~From her I learned that honesty with myself is key to being honest with others. I cannot speak truths for others if I am in denial of myself.

I am not sure where this friendship will go or even if it will continue for much longer, but I am grateful to the lessons that she has taught me. Without her, I would not be where I am today.

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