Saturday, involved a gathering of family for my sister to celebrate "Christmas" in March. She was deployed in Afghanistan and this gathering allowed her to get to experience Christmas, just a little bit. It was a good time, but walking into my mother's house while she is cooking is always a test of my willpower when it comes to food. My mother's cooking may not be gourmet or complicated, but it is always yummy. And it is always a struggle for me not to fall into the old habits of the eating from my childhood when I return to my family home. I managed to help cook, and make it until sunset before I dug in.
Sunday, my youngest son, asked for a blizzard from that blizzard place starting around 10 AM. Around 4:30 we went and got him a blizzard. We also got one for my husband and one for me to put in the freezer and have a little later. While we are sitting in the car, my husband takes a spoonful of his blizzard and offers it to me, with a little smile on his face. It does actually take a conscious effort on my part not to eat it. My first instinct is to take the bite offered. I love blizzards.
What I realized over this weekend, is that in all honesty, the fast during the work week, just isn't a struggle for me at all. I get hungry, I want to eat, but I don't really think about it that much. I don't have food available and so I just move on without actually thinking much about it. I don't really need much willpower. However the weekends are a completely different story. I struggle through those with a lot of conscious thought. It is when I stop to think about the food that I find myself feeling hungry.
I am debating doing the last 5 days or so of the fast as a complete fast. Only having water. Maybe that will make me focus a little more.
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