The fast continues

I have lost track of the count.  I know when it ends, and I find myself not really caring about the count or when it ends.  I am not spending a lot of time focused on having it over, which is where I was at this point last year.

I don't know if that is because I have grown, or because it isn't moving me.  I suppose that is something to think about.

The purpose of the sunlight fast of Ramadan is to ensure that every Muslim has a period of time where they remember the poor and the starving.  Some people have to live like this always, and the sunlight fast is suppose to be a reminder of that.  Similarly, it is often perceived that Jesus 40 day fast was for a similar purpose, you can live without a lot of wants, when the needs are met.

I suppose I find this to be the focus of what has come up for me over the last few days.  There seems to be a lot of confusion about what constitutes a want and what constitutes a need.  In my own life, I am trying to cut down on filling my life with frivolous wants.

One of the things I have spent a lot of time thinking about in the last few days has been about the focus of my ministry.  It has become clear that my instructors believe they are creating us to be wedding officiants.  This is their primary focus, and they are all about ensuring that we market ourselves and keep a good business head about us. 

I want to perform weddings, but I don't want it to be my business.  I want to be available if someone wants a unique ceremony that includes their wants and gives them a beautiful day, but I don't want that to be my primary focus.

I am going to spend most of my focus on counseling, motivational speaking, teaching and integrating body work.  I still have a lot to learn, and while I am on my way, my ministry isn't going to be about creating ceremony, though if friends, family, strangers want a ceremony created by someone who is willing to give them what they want then I will be all over it.

I understand where they are coming from, my instructors I mean.  There aren't really interfaith churches.  We aren't going to be called on to be ministers in a "church" format all that often.  Being a wedding officiant that offers spirituality while not requiring membership in the church body, or balking at mixed religious weddings is a good thing, and gives people a way to make some money, however, I am disappointed in the focus being on the business aspect of the wedding officiant.

I am having to look up all the primary religious traditions and cultures and see what kinds of things I might be asked to do if I were asked to perform a Hindu, Jewish wedding.  You'd think that perhaps the focus of the wedding class where we are suppose to be learning to create a ceremony (and it is our homework), that there would be some talk about the kinds of elements that might be included and the various traditions we might see come up and be asked to navigate.

I suppose what I have discovered is that my view of my ministry and what I want to get out of it, might not be exactly what I am being taught to do.

I am not in a hurry to figure out where my ministry is going to go, or what I might do with it.  But I am learning what it is that I don't want to do.