Fast Day 3--Will Power

I often tell myself that I don't have much in the way of will power, which is why I have trouble with office birthday parties or the occasional donut. I tell myself that it won't hurt if I just have one little bite, then of course I eat a whole piece. I allow myself to believe that a lack of will power is just a flaw that I have, when I find myself faltering on my diet. I tell myself the all to common lie that I will buckle down soon.

The truth is that I have incredible will power. When I do this day fast, it becomes more and more clear. I can walk past the donuts, the cake, the candy bowl. I can by pass the yummy sounding lunches out. I certainly want to eat all the stuff I see placed before me, but at the same time I have set a goal and I intend to reach it.

Why do I have such trouble maintaining my will power when I am living life under normal circumstances? I have every intention of spending more time reading, yet instead of pulling out a book I start Angry Birds. I intend to do research on prayers and inspirational pieces to have on hand in my minister's manual that I have to create for school, yet I find myself checking Facebook for status updates. I want to clear the roots out of the clearing in the trees to build a meditation space, yet I make excuses about doing the work. What is up with that? I don't even really like Facebook or Angry Birds or any of the other distractions I place in my path toward being me. So why do I keep putting up road blocks?

One of my classmates just wrote an amazing sermon on fear. The whole service was actually about the acceptance and overcoming of fear. It was a great and beautiful thing, yet here I am caught up in my own fear, the fear of being fully me.

I have the ability to control my impulses. I have the ability to direct my own life. I do it when I have to, or when there is something I really want at the end of the path. Now it is time for me to stop making all the excuses. It is time for me to apply my will power to my life.