Fast Day 1--Ash Wednesday

I would like to say that I started my fast with a bang and that my first day fasting was a complete success, but alas I cannot.  Apparently, I finally got adjusted to Seattle Time, which is three time zones different that Lexington Time.  And so instead of having gone to bed at 9 and gotten up between 4 and 5, I went to bed later and got up later.  By the time I got the packing done and the work out it, the sun was already rising.  I didn't go to breakfast with my compatriots, I was earlier than than, but it was still after sunrise.

Secondly, I find it very hard not to snack on the plane.  I would catch myself opening the pack of pretzels or the cookie I had been given by the flight attendant.  It was easy to skip the meals because there weren't any served on the flight.

Thirdly, the intent of the fast is to go for a period of time without eating.  Due to time changes and having sunset earlier in Minnesota than in Seattle, I had about 6 hours of fasting where I should have had on the order of 10.

But I am not discouraged.  I knew that traveling on Ash Wednesday would be a challenge.

I did however read a lot of posts on various places asking about why people who were not Catholic, would even bother to give up anything.  It isn't like it is required.  And there was a lot of talk about it being a time when people get a sense of accomplishment for doing something that they wouldn't do otherwise.

The fact is that there is some truth to that criticism, but honestly in many people of Faith that kind of criticism exists even without the Lenten season.  There are, unfortunately, a lot of people who talk about their Faith and what they believe, but only appear to practice it on Sunday when they walk into church.

For me, I don't give up something during the season of Lent because I feel obligated to, or because I want to feel like I have done my duty.  It is just a good time for doing some serious introspection on myself and on my faith.  Interestingly, deprivation of something you count on to get you through the day, often gives me pause to think about what I am doing in my spiritual life.  Each moment I have a craving and I have to remind myself that I can't fulfill that desire gives me an opportunity to stop and think.  It gives me a moment to think about what I "need" versus what I "want."

While it is unfortunately true that those lessons don't carry over through the rest of the year, I am not willing to give up all of my material wants even though I don't need them, I did find that after lent last year, I wasn't as attached to "stuff."  I still managed to fill my life with plenty of unnecessary junk, but I did find it easier to curb the impulse purchase.  I thought more about whether or not I would actually wear an article of clothing I had bought.  I found it easier to part with things that were no longer useful or things I wanted.  I still have way more than I need, but each day I get closer and closer to finding that I don't need to carry around the extra weight of stuff just because I want to keep up with the Joneses.

I keep thinking that it would be nice to have all the money I need to complete the education/training I want without the confines of this job I don't really like or want to do.  But I also know that I would find excuses for not completing the training I need then.  I would find excuses to procrastinate.  I always have perfectly good reasons for not following through.

This Lenten season is following the same fasting procedure as the last one, my hope is that this time, I will learn to give up my fear.