Many years ago I read this quote somewhere and thought about it, realized that it might have some truth, but then ignored it and went on to something else.
When I saw it again yesterday, what it meant really sank in and I recognized the truth of it.
One of my favorite quotes lately has been one that appears in a fiction novel I read that basically says the same thing only it is about memory, "There are always three sides to every memory…yours, theirs, and the truth, which lies somewhere in between the two."
These both say the same thing to me. That is that I have my perspective, my view of how things are and what they are and what they mean. I have my experiences, my personal preferences, my own value system, my faith and my world view. All of those cloud my perception of a situation or an event. No matter how skilled I am at seeing more than one side, my sense of how things are going are all going to be based on what is in my head. This is true for everyone.
When I am in a dark place, everything seems to be tinged with that same dark tone no matter how good it is. The A on my exam is meaningless even though it was far above the class average. The fact that I have several really good friends is meaningless because there is someone who doesn't like me. My world view is adjusted because of my own self-doubt.
When I am in a happy place, the world is much brighter and far less restrictive.
But this is not only about general world view, but about specific instances as well. When I am feeling critical about myself, I hear criticism coming from other people even when it isn't there. When I am feeling hostile, everyone else appears hostile as well.
I think all of this is normal. We are human, and I know that I get extremely frustrated with people who cannot seem to understand what it is that I am trying to say. It's not that I need them to agree with me or jump on board, necessarily, but at least understand where I am coming from. When I stop to remember that they aren't me and no amount of putting themselves in my shoes will ever have them really able to see things from my perspective it gets a little easier, but it is still frustrating.
When I was in denial about my own emotional state, I was constantly projecting emotions on to other people. I believed I knew what they were thinking and feeling. Sometimes I was right, but even then it was always clouded by the feelings I was denying myself. Denied anger always seemed to appear for little to no reason at the assumption that someone was angry with me. Denied hurt would manifest as soon as someone did something out of their own hurt. My assumption about someone's tone was always in relation to exactly what I was feeling and denying in myself. I heard them speak with a tone I was projecting, not a tone they actually had...all because I can only see things from where I am standing.
Standing in anger makes everyone sound angry, standing in hostility makes everyone sound hostile, standing in hurt makes everyone sound hurt.
I do think that as one walks into enlightenment, true knowledge of self and the Divine, one can see things as they are without it being related to where they are. I think that there are people who can and do see things without the cloudiness of their own emotional state or experiential perception. I am likely not one of them...at least most of the time, but I do want to get there someday. To a place where I am not emotionally attached to my view of the truth and I can find the middle ground of the real truth.
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