The Gift of the Mirror

Every so often in life, we meet that person that holds up a mirror and forces us to see ourselves as we are. We don't always recognize the mirror or sometimes a so deeply in denial that we cant see that we are looking at ourselves in the mirror. It always seems to happen at the moment you need it most. That moment where it is clear that if you don't change, you will suffer far too much to bear.

At that point in time, you get a choice, you can choose to change the reflection you see in the mirror or you can ignore the mirror and hope that you go back to life as it was. But the truth is, you can't avoid the mirror forever. Eventually, the mirror shines in a way that you can't ignore.

I have had many mirrors in my life. Some of them I have recognized as mirrors and some I have not seen that way. Sometimes I have been far too self absorbed or in denial about who I am or what I am trying to accomplish that I didn't even recognize that there was a mirror.

However in those moments where I have been faced with the mirror I cannot ignore, I have received the most amazing gifts.

Today in a discussion group with some fellow newbie Quakers, one of the things that came up was a question of wether or not anyone had ever left the Quakers feeling like they hadn't been heard. Several examples came up as people who seemed to have left, but it didn't appear as though they left because they hadn't been heard. And so I told my story...I had first gone to the Quaker church about 7 years ago. I was fairly regular attending and even spoke a few times, but I never felt like I really fit. I didn't blame the Quakers, It just didn't feel right. And as I reflected on it more, it was because they were so accepting that I wasn't feeling comfortable. They were mirroring the life I wanted to live, a life of compassion, respect and understanding, but I was in a place of feeling turmoil. I told myself I was compassionate and understanding and to a degree I was, but I was that for everyone else. I was not that for me, and here was a group of people who were going to patiently wait to see me. They were a mirror I ignored.

I proceeded to look at the parts of me I wanted to see, ignoring some of the larger and most glaring parts of my own depression, until I couldn't handle it any longer. At which time I was faced with a mirror that I could not ignore.

These are not the only mirrors I have stood before in my life and they will not be the last of them, but each mirror I have faced has given me a gift of insight into the soul of who I am.

Each mirror I have faced as given me a chance to not only look at what I think I am or what I aspire to be. They have given me the power to look at the flaws of myself.

The mirrors have reflected my good and my bad sides.

The mirrors have given me the opportunity to see me the way others saw me.

The mirrors have given me a way to view myself in the world.

I am grateful for all the mirrors in my life.


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