Happy New Year!!!

Last night, I built a fire and released into the ether parts of 6 souls that I had carried, 2 expectations I was ready to release, and 4 blessings for the earth and her inhabitants.

I didn't speak, I didn't dance, I felt a little silly. I muddled through my release and felt self conscious even though the only person who saw me was my husband. I spent the whole time afraid I was doing it wrong. Afraid I hadn't really released those things that I was trying to release.

Like most of my life, I started to second guess it. I started to think that maybe I was just being silly or stupid or a freak.

Last night, I slept sounder than I have in weeks. I woke up feeling refreshed. I woke up feeling lighter and ready to start the day with my spiritual practice in tact.

Even with a stuffy nose, and uncooperative dogs, I smiled and felt at peace through the entire dog walk.

Will I mess up? Will I find myself in the situation of returning to a behavior I tried to release? Seems likely, but I feel lighter now. I feel hopeful and ready for whatever challenges this new year brings.

I am not going to make a series of resolutions that I am just going to break. I find that I am not so good with the follow through.

But I hope that I can maintain this feeling of peace and security. That I can maintain my happier outlook and my joy for living. I hope that I can hold on to this sense of me.

Happy New Year!