It's my Life

I have more than 1400 albums on my itunes.  I have even more than that at my house.  I have a ton of music and I am always on the hunt for more.  Yet when it comes to music to use in a "worship" service I am lost.  I have albums by Christian artists and Buddhists and Hindus.  I can find a ton of religion specific music, but when it comes to something that is inclusive, spiritual, yet not specific to a particular religion, I feel so lost.

Going to seminary is a calling I have known since it was first suggested to me when I was 20.  Being a minister of some kind was a calling I had, had since childhood.  Going to a Christian seminary never felt right.  Interfaith is where I needed to be.  So I found my place, and here I am.  Now, in this second year, it is my job to put together a worship service that feels inclusive.
I have music that can be cathartic for anger, heartbreak, general malaise.  I have music for dancing, for celebration, for joy.  I have music that is about the Christian God.  Where is the music for the spiritual, but not religious.

I have playlists I have put together that range through what I listen to when I am pissed off, to a playlist for when I jog, when I want to dance.  I have a play list of my favorite songs from my teenage years.  I have a playlist of my favorite songs that make J look at me like I am nuts.

My iPhone has Justin Bieber, Taylor Swift, Metallica, Linkin Park, Ryan Adams, Bob Dylan and the Beatles just to name a few.  I have pop stars and groups that only a few people have ever heard.  I have show tunes and classical music.  I even have a little rap.  Some of the music from each category I have has moved me spiritually, yet I have never constructed a playlist for music I want to listen to when I want to be spiritual.
I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that I feel like the music that moves me on a spiritual level is not exactly what one would call spiritual music.  It isn’t praise music, it isn’t relaxation and meditation music (though there is some of that which moves me on a very deep level).  It is often music that isn’t directly about “God” at all.

Needless to say, I have to provide music for my service.  It needs to be something that calls to me.  So I put my itunes on shuffle and I started listening.  As I have 42 days worth of music to get through, I decided to go ahead and do my work while I listened.  I figured that something would move me and I would stop and give it a chance.

Within a few moments the Bon Jovi song, “It’s My Life” was playing.  And as I started to bounce a little on my seat and sing, I realized that this song is actually one of the songs I would consider spiritual.

This ain't a song for the broken-hearted
No silent prayer for the faith-departed
I ain't gonna be just a face in the crowd
You're gonna hear my voice
When I shout it out loud

It's my life
It's now or never
I ain't gonna live forever
I just want to live while I'm alive
(It's my life)
My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said
I did it my way
I just wanna live while I'm alive
It's my life

This is for the ones who stood their ground
For Tommy and Gina who never backed down
Tomorrow's getting harder make no mistake
Luck ain't even lucky
Got to make your own breaks

It's my life
And it's now or never
I ain't gonna live forever
I just want to live while I'm alive
(It's my life)
My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said
I did it my way
I just want to live while I'm alive
'Cause it's my life

Better stand tall when they're calling you out
Don't bend, don't break, baby, don't back down

It's my life
And it's now or never
'Cause I ain't gonna live forever
I just want to live while I'm alive
(It's my life)
My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said
I did it my way
I just want to live while I'm alive

It's my life
And it's now or never
'Cause I ain't gonna live forever
I just want to live while I'm alive
(It's my life)
My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said
I did it my way
I just want to live while I'm alive
'Cause it's my life! 

I have a fear of putting myself out there.  I have a fear of being true to me.  And I am sure I am not alone in that.  But the Divine Spirit created me to be me.  If I am not being true to me, and my ambitions and my calling and my life, even if it seems silly, even if I am judged and criticized for it, then I am not being true to the God I believe created me.  And if I believe that this Spirit is 100% correct in the creations that have been made, then being me, isn’t wrong, no matter what other people think about it.  I am the only one that has to stand in judgment for my life.

So here is to accepting myself as I am, even if the songs I choose for my worship service,  aren’t the stereotypical songs.  I was created and called to put my voice among the many that pave the way to an understanding of God.  I was called to do it with my skills, talents and loves.

Here’s to living MY life.