What do you mean we aren't communicating?

This weekend I spent some time texting a friend.  She asked me a question about the path I am on.  What she asked, was can I share it?  My initial response was yes, I can.  And then I realized that she was asking a question that was more deep than I had originally thought.  She wasn't asking if someone could walk my path with me, she was asking me if I could tell her about it.  The reinterpretation of one word, changes the entire meaning of the whole sentence.

 That realization made me aware of a ton of little things I could have interpreted differently and come up with a very different response.  That realization made me aware that at every moment of every day in every communication I offer, I am choosing how to respond based on my perception of the question.  It is no wonder that we live in a world full of hurt feelings and misunderstandings.  What I hear and what my conversation partner is saying may not be the same thing.  And it doesn't have anything to do with insecurity or self-preservation and everything to do with where my head is in the moment.

There was no criticism in my friend's question about sharing my path and none was taken.  But by answering the question with "Yes, I can." and letting it go because I was hearing can someone walk that path with you could have caused her to wonder what I meant or why I didn't give a fuller answer to her question.  By taking a minute to think about her question and what it is that I know about her and what it is that she could really be asking not only made my response less pithy it also brought me out of my own head space. 

And so I shared with her where I am on my path.  At the moment, my path is a little convoluted.  In order to accomplish what I see as my purpose I need to build my "tribe."  I need to gather those people that want to know me and want to be known by me so that I can build a solid base from which to work.  I can't help people identify their spirituality and work toward spiritual freedom if I don't have my own support structure in place to care for me.  This is easier said then done.  And sort of moves me in to a different level of communication.

I am personable, and fun and a decent conversationalist, so I often can draw people to me.  The problem is identifying which ones belong in my tribe and which ones are visitors.  Because I am so often quite open about who I am, and honest with people about my life and where I stand (assuming we don't already have a history), it is hard to determine which people want to know me and which people want the attention that I give out.  And of course those people that want my attention will seek me out to give them attention (which is kind of my go to sign for people who want to know me).  Only they don't always want to know me...nor do they really try.  Quite often I find that most people haven't actually ever listened to me enough to know me.  They have made a decision about who I am and very little that I say makes a difference in their opinion of who I am.  I say this with the complete understanding that I do it too.  I think it is a very human characteristic, though in my defense I do try to put aside my impressions and give people the freedom to be who they are.

As it stands, I think that all too often I am unwilling to step outside of my own head space to see where someone is (when I am in casual conversation, if the conversation starts out being something where they have made it clear that this is a time when I need to be paying attention to them I do without a second thought).  Perhaps it is time for me to do that a little more.  Perhaps that will make communication go a wee bit smoother.