No Pain, No suffering

I have been reading a lot lately about how suffering is made manifest because you are attached to something.  Attachment to pain is constant suffering because you are focused on the pain.  Attachment to to joy is constant suffering because you fear losing the feeling of joy.  Attachment to "stuff" is constant suffering because it can break, get lost, etc.

I have no idea how to rid myself of the suffering.  There seems to be no end to it.  Giving up attachment is not an easy thing to do.  As I watched my kids this past week though, I realized that suffering is something we learn.

My sons are learning to ride their bikes.  They actually have learned to ride bikes.  And I am very proud of them.  They still need to learn some road rules, braking and stopping seem to be problems for them, but they rode for 3 miles on the bike path yesterday and it was amazing to watch.

Watching B in particular is a lesson in how not to suffer.

He is younger, but wants to do everything that Q does.  So when Q decided it was time to learn to ride a bike for real, B decided it was for him too.  We sized the bikes, we got them new ones and we started learning.  Q picked it up pretty quick, but age and desire will go a long way toward learning quickly.  Sibling rivalry also does a lot for training.  B picked up on how to ride very fast.

The impressive thing is watching B.  He would fall over, he would scrape his knee, his forehead, his hands, his arms.  He would get caught under the bike.  He took a fair beating while learning to ride, but each time he would get up with new determination and try again.  Several times he didn't even really seem to notice the pain his cuts and scrapes must have caused him, until you pointed out that he was bleeding.

As soon as he noticed the wound, then the attachment to pain began.  Then the suffering.  Fortunately for B it was short lived.  We'd patch him up, slap on a band-aid or two and off he would go, riding again and not even thinking about the past hurt.

Q focuses on the pain a bit longer than B, the frustration of discovering that there are things he can't yet do, a little more painful.  But it too is short lived.  As soon as he gets going again and discovers that there is still a lot he can do, the frustration passes.

At what point in my life did I learn to hold on to the suffering?  At what point in my life did I learn to keep it close rather than push it away?  At what point will my children learn to hold on to suffering?

Jesus says in Matthew 19:14 that the kingdom of heaven belongs to those who are like the children.  To me in this moment, that is a statement about their complete inability to hold on to suffering.  Kids notice the differences between people, but they don't care.  Money, success, race, sexuality, gender, just doesn't bother them when they are all playing together.  There are moments of fighting and disagreements and hurt feelings, but for the most part, all of it is like water under the bridge.  Children get up after a fall and move on. 

In those ways I think children are our superior.  I sometimes wonder if we are born with enlightenment and we just lose it as we get older.  Then struggle to find it again.

Maybe it is time for me to remember what it was like to be a child.