I could focus in the hostility (there was a lot), I could focus on the parts that made it very difficult to tolerate in the sense that it was a painful reminder at times, why I have so many problems identifying as an environmentalist. I could write about how it is still so disappointing to me that there seems to be very little desire to have conversation that isn't about how horrible and unfair things are. There is so much pain in the world and in the area of coal mining in Appalachia.
I am however going to focus on the story of transition. Love it or hate it, coal is dying on Eastern Kentucky. At least for the moment. If the cities and towns of the area that were built initially because of the coal mines, want to survive it is time to transition to a new identity. This conference was about giving hope for that transition. By the end of the day, the conference had given me the reminder that I needed to move along my own path of transition.
Branden Smith got up to tell his story of transition and how the work he is doing now is heading to save the fishing village in which he grew up, but he started by saying he was going to bring us all down. He was going to make us depressed. He then went on to outline the mistakes made by the fishing industry, the environmentalists and the village that went into causing the village to fail. From there he proceeded to tell his story of transition and transformation that is still ongoing and an attempt not to correct the mistakes of his past, but not to make them again. He said four things yesterday that made me see a story that was not depressing in nature, but a story of hope.
1. "Change is not something you can accomplish on a large scale right away, you have to start small. In the [fishing] community, in the village, in YOURSELF. Can you live the idealized version of how you think it should be?"
This has characterized my life view for the past several months really. I can't change the world unless I am willing to live the sermon I preach. The morals and values I espouse have to be things I am willing to live and show. I cannot change anyone's attitude toward me or my life choices, but I sure as hell can choose to change my attitude toward others. Am I living the values I claim as my own? If I am unwilling to live them, how can I expect anyone else to live them? Change must start with me.
2. "We have to feed our families, but we also have to feed our souls."
Here is a kicker that several people in the room hadn't really considered. Perhaps the people working for the mines thought of this as their identity. Perhaps there was something more than just a paycheck coming to them from this career. The idea that you could just offer the people another job and everything would be okay just doesn't work.
I spent years working in a career that sucked the life out of me. It was slowly killing my soul and in the end, the money I was making was not worth the career. It was get out or cause some serious damage. People shouldn't have to choose between a paycheck and their joy, yet it seems that is what we ask them to do everyday.
Change must involve working toward an outcome that fuels body, mind and intellect. It must feed your family and your soul.
3. "We don't need to reduce humanity for the sake of the environment."
Again, a powerful statement about the nature of the "environmentalist." Is it worth saving the owl, the wolf, the ocean if you are destroying people in the process? The Hindu culture believes that becoming embodied as human is the highest honor once can receive. It is only as a human that one can reach enlightenment. One must have the human experience of consciousness, suffering and choice to ever find a way out of the suffering.
I can extend his statement not only to the environment, but to profit, to industry, to politics, the economy, religion. And change it into a question, "is protecting the _________, worth the reduction of humanity? Is getting your way worth the pain you are causing to others?
4. "This is a time of transition, maybe we need a little crazy."
New and innovative changes in the world are necessary and many visionaries are often seen as crazy. The Bible clearly states that Jesus was ostracized by the community in which he grew up. His story is the epitome of a story of transition and change. We as Christians don't commonly think of him as crazy, but the people of the time, believed he was. Just a little crazy.
Other people spoke and said some amazing things, but Brandon's story stood out. He was willing to say those things that we all too often try to hide. He asked our motives and stood by the fact that he was a fisherman, not for money, but because that was his soul. Taking away his livelihood wasn't just about destroying his source of income, it was about removing what made him feel alive. His story made me stop to think of my own life.
I went to speak to him later because he had moved me so deeply and he said, "thanks, I am not much of a public speaker." And I said, "you could have fooled me. But I know exactly what you mean." Someone came to chat and I never got to explain, but I spent much of the next few hours thinking about my own story of transition.
Then I came home and J asked me what I wanted to do when I got finished with school. And the truth is that I don't really know. I am not sure that research is my cup of tea. I don't know that I want to teach, so what is the purpose for getting my PhD? Truth...
I am getting my PhD because I have a series of lessons to learn in this transition.
I don't know exactly what I want to do, but I know the things I do NOT want in my life after the PhD.
-I don't want a career sitting behind a desk at a computer 8hours a day everyday.
-I don't want a career where I can not exhibit my creativity.
-I don't want a career where I am not able to live my values. I no longer want to work for people who are looking for the most profit over humanity and the planet.
-I don't want a career where I have to defend the actions of people I don't think did the right thing.
I also know some of the things that I do want in my career after the PhD.
-I want to be outside.
-I want to work with people.
-I want to educate and mediate so that there can be discussion, not argument.
- I want to inspire by living my values and speaking of them.
-I want to incorporate fully my spirituality into whatever work I do.
This led me to the realization that my transition story is not just about changing my life and my career to incorporate my values, but also a statement that it is time to be loud and proud about who I am. It is time for me to stop hiding my story behind a veil and putting it on a blog that only a few people can find. It is time to tell my story.
I have a website that I set up for my ministry. One that I have not publicized, nor really hidden. But It is time for me to take ownership of my story and who I am.w
I have hidden behind the slight anonymity that egirl has given me and she has been a great agent of change for me. But it is time for Whitney to go public. I cannot expect the world to change if I am unwilling to make my own changes.
I am going to leave this forum behind. I will be moving to the blog I set up in my ministry website. www.snowflakeministry.com
Thanks for being a part of this journey to transition. I hope the next stage is just as rewarding.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
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