When I saw it, it brought up a few things for me.
Over the course of the last year or so, several people have told me that they just want to be near me. I don't have to talk to them, I don't have to interact with them, but they just want to be near me because I "feel" like love. I shine.
These are not people that I have searched out. These are not people that I have gone out of my way to find. These are people that found me.
I know that if I just allow my inner joy and peace to shine that people will find me. I know that I will draw to me the people that need to be drawn to me.
I don't feel like what I say on this blog is something I have to hide from family or friends. I don't feel like I have anything to hide about who I am. I am sure that some of the people I know can read this blog and feel like I am attacking them or judging them, I am sure that some of the people I know will read things and decide that I am wrong or that I am altering the facts to fit my perception, but I don't have any reason to hide myself from them. I just don't advertise it.
I don't advertise it because I always operated under the assumption that the people who needed to find what I had to say would find me.
My calling is to help people reconnect with their inner spirit. My calling is the help people develop their spirituality.
In this lecture series I am listening to the speaker, Rick Jarrow, asks what I would do if I was guaranteed success. If I could not fail what would I do with my life.
The first answer that came to me was that I would lead people back to their spirituality. I would help people break free from the chains of organized religion if that was what they needed, and help them find a way into organized religion if that is what they needed. I would talk to them about logic, I would talk to them about intuition, I would help them find their peace within themselves and make peace with the earth.
Along with that came a desire to create a garden. A desire to create spiritual art. A desire to deepen my own spiritual practice. A desire to build a community where people can feel at home.
Along with that came a desire to spread the word that we have developed the roots for a good and solid base and now it is time to open ourselves up to the creation of what is in our heart.
That desire to build community, that desire to help people is so very strong, so very driving. And we are taught in society that a good business model includes marketing our selves. How can I stand still and shine and still market myself?
There is a warring in my person. I want to stand still and trust that the people who need me will find me. At the same time I want it to happen NOW. I want to find those people that need me and my brand of help.
The truth is that I am really no where near qualified to speak on any subject. I have nominal training and my own spiritual practice is still in development. I know this. I think I am afraid that my fire will go out if I don't have people knocking down my door right now.
I'm not entirely sure where this stream of consciousness post is heading other than to say, that it is hard to be a light house when society tells you that more is better, that having more stuff is better than feeling good about what you do. I want the people that need the gifts I have to offer to find me. I will try to be a patient light house.
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